Introduction
If you’re in a relationship with someone who is addicted to drugs, it can be hard to know how to respond. It’s important to understand that the person is sick and needs treatment, but that doesn’t mean they don’t need help from their loved ones as well. There are some steps you can take that will make both of your lives easier:
1 Prepare for denial.
You can’t expect your girlfriend to admit she has a problem. She may deny the problem or say that it is not as bad as you think. She might also tell you that she is being treated and it is under control, but don’t believe her if this happens.
It’s important to remember that addicts are masters of manipulation and denial; they can convince themselves (and others) of anything they want in order to continue using drugs without consequence or consequence management. If your girlfriend says something like “I’m fine,” don’t take her word for it; instead, look for signs of drug use and encourage her to seek treatment on her own terms rather than forcing yourself into an ultimatum situation where she feels like she has no choice but recovery
2 Realize there are no easy answers and that you can’t save her from herself.
You can’t save her from herself. You can’t make her stop using drugs, and you certainly can’t force her to get help. In fact, trying to do so will only push your girlfriend further away from you–and into the arms of addiction in general (and maybe even another person).
You have to accept the fact that there are no easy answers and that you can’t save her from herself.
3 Be supportive, but also set boundaries.
When dealing with a drug addiction, it’s important to remember that you are not responsible for your girlfriend’s actions. You can only control yourself and your own actions. This means being supportive, but also setting boundaries–even if she doesn’t agree with them at first.
- Don’t enable her addiction: If she’s using drugs and refuses treatment or help, don’t give her money or buy drugs from her (this will only make things worse).
- Don’t spend time with her when she is using drugs: If she wants to go out for dinner or drinks with friends who are active users, say no! It may be difficult for both of you at first, but eventually they’ll get tired of seeing each other if there isn’t much else going on in their lives besides getting high together all the time (and trust me–there won’t be).
- Set firm boundaries: Tell your partner that while they’re welcome back into your life whenever they want treatment, there will be consequences if they continue using after making promises otherwise; these could include losing access to certain privileges like having friends over at home etc., until such point as those promises have been fulfilled
4 Don’t take responsibility for her addiction.
- Don’t take responsibility for her addiction.
This is one of the most important things you can do when dealing with your girlfriend’s drug addiction. You should not blame yourself for her behavior or think that you have any control over it, because that way lies madness and despair. Your girlfriend has chosen to use drugs and needs professional help from trained professionals who will be able to help her through this difficult time in her life, so don’t try to solve all of her problems yourself! Instead, focus on taking care of yourself and keeping calm through this process–you’ll both feel better when she gets the treatment she needs (and hopefully stops using).
5 Encourage her to seek treatment but don’t force her to.
- Encourage her to seek treatment but don’t force her to.
- Don’t put pressure on her to get help.
- Don’t make threats or ultimatums. It’s not helpful, and it can backfire when she feels like you’re trying to control her life or force her into doing something she doesn’t want to do (like going into rehab).
- Don’t take responsibility for her addiction; this only makes it worse because then you feel like there’s nothing else that can be done about it, so why bother? You needn’t take all the blame yourself–it just shows how much you care about your girlfriend and want things between the two of you to improve as soon as possible!
- Encourage: To influence someone’s thinking or behavior by offering suggestions or ideas; give support; urge strongly with words
6 Consider breaking up with her if she refuses treatment or continues to use drugs despite the harm it’s causing your relationship.
If she refuses treatment, she is not ready. If she continues to use drugs despite the harm it’s causing your relationship and you, it’s time to move on. You can’t force someone into treatment; they have to want it for themselves. And if they don’t care enough about their own life or yours? Then perhaps they are not worth saving from themselves at all.
7 Continue your own recovery even if she doesn’t seek help.
You can’t save her from herself. You won’t be able to change her or make her better, and you shouldn’t try to be responsible for someone else’s addiction. Your only control over the situation is how you choose to act in response to it. If your girlfriend refuses treatment or refuses to get help with her addiction, then set boundaries around what she can do around you (and/or your children) based on how much she is using drugs and/or alcohol. For example: “I love spending time with you but I don’t want our kids around when we are drinking” or “I’m not comfortable having sex while either of us has been drinking.”
8 Get involved with a support group for family of addicts.
You can find a support group for family of addicts through the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI).
You can also find support groups for family of addicts through Narcotics Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous.
Drug addiction is complicated and you should take care of yourself first and foremost
Drug addiction is a complicated and difficult disease to deal with. The addict cannot control their own behavior, but you can control yourself. You need to take care of yourself first and foremost if you’re going to be able to help your girlfriend recover from her addiction.
